No news is no news to me

                    

I am trying a little experiment to see if watching the news affects me in a negative way.  I basically haven't been watching the news or reading it.  The only way I get my news is from word of mouth.  

I have to say that no engaging in the news has really helped me with my anxiety.  Listening day after day, hour after hour of depressing, fear based news takes a toll on nerves, attitude and mood.  Even if I catch a glimpse of it on TV I start to get a little anxious. 

Not watching the news makes me less "scared."  The fear based news is getting out of control.  

I'm not trying to sound biased but FOX News is the worst.  I dont think they have ever broken a major news story.  It's all opinoin based commentary designed to instill fear into conservatives that liberals are taking their rights away.  

CNN is just about reporting on blood and guts. "If it bleeds, it leads."  They spent weeks on back to back coverage of the missing Malasian flight with litterally no new leads the entire time.  It's all speculation.  

MSNBC just seems to be ALL liberal commentary which also is an inbalance. 

I do enjoy NBC Nightly News.  I enjoy Brian Williams and his snarky aside comments. I really don't see a liberal bias with Nightly News.  I do see a little more fluff however. They are also pretty good about retracting errors in their broadcasts. 

Talk radio is no better.  I used to listen to KIRO out of Seattle.  It had a nice blend of liberal and conservative commentary but sometimes it got to be too much.  Dori Monson is a "libertarian" host and I used to love him.  I found the more money he makes, the more conservative he becomes.  His shows have become 3 hours of rage against government.  It would be ok but his ranting and raving seem like they are going to lead him to a heart attack.  Seriously, his blood pressure must be way out of wack.  Listening to his loud yelling and rage based fear always got my blood boiling and my heart rate up.  It gives off a very negative vibe.

I think that constantly being around negative language and people is bad for your health.  Sometimes I think I can feel the negative waves eminating from the radio or TV.  I don't surround myself with negative friends so why would I do it with my news. 

Try it for a week.  I think you will feel "lighter" and less negative.

midwest hospitality

This week I'm visiting the family back in good ole' Illinois and Iowa. In the past I didn't really make it a priority to visit my family but lately things have changed. 

I now have a 3 year old nephew is the funnest human being on the planet.  He laughs at my jokes, at my funny faces and he likes to sing with me. We also tend to like pretending we are sharks when ever we eat Goldfish crackers.  

When we walk we tend to jump as well.  Besides, who wants to always walk all the time when you can hop? BORING!

We also like to swing by me pulling him up by one arm and swinging him forward while we walk...or hop.  Who doesn't like to swing??

Did I mention he is photogenic?  We could take selfies all day long.  The best selfies are "mean selfies." Those are the kind when you make a mean face or stick out your tongue.  Regular smiles are just not fun.

I took a month off from work to get my head on straight.  I decided to take a trip back to my origins because I didn't want to miss my nephew growing up.  I already missed my other nephew and two neices growing up and I didn't want that to happen again. Turns out this trip has done me a lot of good.  It's relaxing.  I'm not on a schedule.  I do what I want whenever I want.   It feels like a mini-vacation except that I'm spending more money on shopping than I have in a long time.  WTF I'm treating myself.  It's been a long month. 

My house is being painted while I'm gone and I don't have to do it.  That was stressing me btw. 

All in all it's a pretty good last week of staycationing. I think I'll do it more often.

I've been Abilified

Another med has been added to my already crazy line-up for my depression issues.  I'm now at 5 meds.

1 Vyvanse (long acting adderal)

2 Sertraline (Zoloft)

3 Lamotrigene (mood stabilzer)

4 regular Adderal (ADHD)

5 Abilify (antidepressant booster and works on bipolar) 

Abilify is the new one.  It boosts the effects of the antidepressant. It helps me not feel tired and keeps my grounded. The generic name is Aripiprazole and is primarily used for the treatment of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.^[9]

That's right.  It's also for schizophrenia.  Well that just explains everything.  

So far it's been a good experience.  I get things done. I get my workouts in.  I have extra energy.  

Here is the bad part.  Ever heard of The Flash?  The superhero who can run really fast? 

Well I think I'm THE FLASH. Everything I do now is in fast-forward. I talk faster.  I walk faster.  I eat faster and I think faster.  I think too fast.  I think so fast that before I can finish a thought, I've moved on to another.  It like I'm Profressor X and I can hear everything around me all at once. 

                                                

I'm taking some time off work and thank god I need it.  I want to make sure I'm heading in the right direction with all these meds.  I'm a drug rep so I know all the issues that can happen with these drugs.  

Maybe I will think so fast that I will turn back time and I can tell my younger self to "snap out of it fool!"