We all know that the gay teen suicide rate is higher than the heterosexual teen suicide rate. We all grew up with bullies. I had one. He knows who he is. He made sophomore English hell for me. The constant name calling, fag, queer, sissy and others I care not to try and remember.
The anxiety I endured was, at times, unbearable. Everyday I was petrified to go to class. I had one friend of all the kids that sat around me that actually would try and defend me. She knows who she is. That was my little glimmer of hope in my little world of darkness.
There were times when I contemplated suicide. There were times when I almost decided to beat his face in. I'm not a violent person and never was. I'm the type of person that would probably hit him and then immediately apologize. The thought of hurting another human being for any reason really does not settle well with me.
I have to imagine that most of this kid's bullying came from issues he had with his own sexuality. I don't know if he was closeted or if he just really needed to assert his masculinity because of problems at home. Whatever the reason he wasn't doing it for fun.
I think most of bullying is a result of bad parenting. Kids have to learn it from somewhere. I've never known people who are great parents to have kids that bully other kids. Parents who have kids who bully probably bully themselves. It's like overweight parents. If the parents are fat, the kids are fat. Monkey see, monkey do.
It does get better. It got better for me but only to a point. I was kind of an idiot in the way I handled my life once I graduated from high school. I not only tried to get married to a woman but I enlisted in the military, an organization filled with men. Try not being gay in a world where you are surround by men all the time. Try not being gay in a job filled with homophobia, racism and sexism. The military does great things, however, acceptance is not one of them. I dated men but on the down low. Bullying in the military is rampant and mainly because of the hyper-masculine environment. My fault. I was young and naive and didn't know how to handle my issues.
To this day I still have problems making friends and getting close to people because of the fear of being judged and not being accepted or respected. As I get older I have a "fuck'em all" attitude about it all but it does still make things difficult at time. I usually have to really observe someone before I decide to let them really get to know me.
Still, it does get better. The teenage years are never easy. All gay teens and straight teens alike just want to be loved and accepted. The worst thing to do if you find out your teen is gay is to tell them they are going to hell or even punishing them or sending them to counseling. Counseling is fine if the kid really wants to talk about his feeling but you should NEVER send the kid to counseling to convert them back. It won't work. It's not "fixable." There is nothing to fix.
Kids do what you do. If you're an asshole chances are they are too.
