Tuesday, September 25, 2012

PTSD: Permission To Start Dreaming



Well last Sunday, September 23 was the Race for a Soldier.  It was my first half-marathon.  I finished in roughly 2.5 hours which is good for my first ever half.

bib number:2196
age:42
gender:M
location:Gig Harbor, WA
overall place:694 out of 834
division place:74 out of 85
gender place:372
time:2:34:12
pace:11:46



I started this journey on June 19th with a 3 mile run that took me 35 minutes to complete. Four months of training for something I thought I would never do is something that I'm very proud of.  I'm famous  for not finishing anything I start.

One thing that kept me going all summer was my friend Katie.  She was so inspired by the story behind the Race for a Soldier that she wanted to run it with me.  We motivated each other, me here in Washington State and Katie in New Orleans.  She flew in for the weekend and we ran it together, at times shuffling together, but we finished.

Having someone to share an experience with is very important.  I've found that it made my training a heck of alot easier and I wasn't nervous about race day when it came up.  I knew Katie was suffering through the training with me and suffering through 13.1 miles on race day.

We were using the same app and it had us running on the same days and the same distances.  We would text or call each other on the days of our training runs and either complain or celebrate the run.  It really really was a wonderful experience to share with such a great friend.

The moral of the story: If you have something you want to accomplish and you're not sure you can finish it, ask a friend to do it with you.  It may be a whole new experience that you will never forget.

Thanks Katie!



Sunday, September 16, 2012

I want a new drug

I took some time off from blogging.  I have been having some ups and downs.  Mostly ups and downs in mood and motivation.

I few weeks ago I felt my meds slowly wearing off.  I would go in stages of really good highs and then crashing lows.  My doc prescribed more adderal.  It seems to be working.  I'm on a road trip right now and it's going great.

I have found though that I seem to get really really cranky around 4 or 5 pm.  Sometimes it's because I forgot to eat lunch or sometimes it's because I'm stressed.

I have been without work for 9 months now.  It's longest I have ever been unemployed.  I'm not worried about paying my bills or anything but I don't like not having any secure finances.  I have this immence feeling of not being in control and it's killing me.

I think there comes a time when even the best meds can be over powered by life's little challenges.  I know that I want to someday be off meds completley but until then I have to keep playing with dosing and keeping track of when they don't work and why they aren't working.

I'm eager to head back to Washington tomorrow.  I miss my dogs and I miss working out.  I took the last 7 days off and I'm feeling it.  I can't wait to get back to spin class!