It's almost been a year since embarking on this journey of new found clarity. I've still had my ups and downs but luckily more ups than downs.
This past 3 weeks has been a little piece of hell. I've become SO stressed out with work that I've become a ball of tension and tight muscles. It's not that work is hard, it's that I hate it. I don't like my job, there, simple.
The job is easy. Drive to offices. Talk to staff and give them samples. I sit in my car and as I drive all I can think about is how much I would rather be doing something else. Hunched over the steering wheel I pull into the office and realize the whole drive that my shoulders have been up near my ears, my jaw is clenched and my right arm is numb.
Stress is something that affects more than my mind. It affects my physical body as well. It has taken my muscles and twisted them and turned them into machines that wrench and pull my vertebrae out of alignment, pinching nerves and causing extreme pain in my shoulder and upper arm and cause my right hand to completely numb.
Stress is a strange animal. It makes you so anxious, puts you into physical pain that the pain causes you to become depressed because you can't tolerate the stress that has caused all the pain. It doesn't help when tight muscle pain can make an already depressed person more depressed.
I wish that there was a pill or something that could just make a person feel completely normal. It somehow reacts with your body's chemistry and zips through your blood stream and just corrects anything that is not right.
Huey Lewis was right. I want a new drug.
Over 40, staying in shape and living to tell about it.
