Death of a friend

Kimberly Layfield 1974-2012

Kimberly Layfield killed

Today I found out that I lost a friend.  Kimberly and I met on the set of a small indie web series in 2004.

Kimberly was incredibly funny and a very kind soul.   I never heard her say anything bad about anyone.  She was smart, funny and beautiful.  We would sit on the set between takes and just crack each other up.  We filmed for the better part of a year and stayed in touch for a few years even though we live only an hour away from each other.  Life happened.  We lost touch except for the occasional hello in passing.  

Kimberly was at her favorite coffee house having coffee and talking with friends.  The shooter walked in and opened fire. The man who killed her also killed four other people.  He was mentally unstable.  His family knew it and even said that they saw this coming.  His guns were bought legally.  There isn't really much that anyone could have done.  She was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I feel so ashamed that I lost touch.  We didn't live far from each other. We had things in common.  I feel horrible that I didn't get to see her one last time.  I feel guilty but at the same time I believe her soul is in a higher place.  

I don't believe in the "biblical heaven."  I believe we are all souls that live over and over again in order to learn valuable life lessons and teach them to new souls.  Call it reincarnation or whatever you want.  I believe when we die our souls ascend to a higher plane and we get to see all our family and friends who "passed" before us.  When we are ready, we get to be born again, literally, and hopefully we subconsciously take what we learned in the past life and apply it to our new lives.
  

I believe Kimberly had to die in order to teach me and her loved ones about grief.  We have to learn how to deal with grief when it is senseless.  We all know how we will die BEFORE we are born.  We all know what lessons we will need to learn and what lessons we will need to teach.  She died so we could learn about ourselves.  We all grieve differently.  The question is what will we do with this grief.  How will we use it to make our lives here on Earth better?  How will we use it to make other lives better.  

I will miss her.  She contributed to my life.  I met her for a reason.  I just wish the reason hadn't come in a form so senseless.

I miss you Kimberly.