Ego Boost

Yesterday I went to spin class and it was being taught by an instructor I haven't seen in over 2 weeks.  She chased me down in the hall at the Y and said that she noticed I had lost weight and I was looking very skinny.  I'm not gonna lie.  It felt great.  It always feels great to get a compliment from someone that is unbiased.  It also feels great to get a compliment about something you have been working hard on as well.  She commented that the "cutting out sugar" thing was working well for me.  I said that it had but I do fall of the wagon from time to time.  Sometimes that wagon is on a very very bumpy hill.

We all need a little help from our meds.

The other thing I told her was it didn't hurt that I was on a mood stabilizer called Adderal which really curbs my appetite.  I lost 10 lbs. immediately after starting that medication.  At first I felt like I was cheating.  Then I realized that I'm still eating normal.  I am just making better decisions about what I eat.

My depression and anxiety issues caused me to make bad choices and eat lots of comfort food to make me feel better.  Now that I don't have those issues as much, I've up'd my game and my workouts are better and my eating is too.

I used to be very ashamed of my depression and anxiety.  I thought that I was weak.  I thought that I was not as good as I should be.  I felt unattractive and useless.  It took me a very long time to find the right mix of medication that works for me.  Now that I have the right meds I see the world in a different light.  I sometimes feel that I missed out on the first half of my life.  I've had a problem with depression as far back as high school.  I feel that if I had gotten help back then that I would have done so much more by now.  

I can't afford to think that way anymore.  I have to look at what I have.  I'm haven't done too shabby. I'm in a good relationship, I have great friends and 3 wonderful dogs that I love like kids.  

I'm glad I finally got the help I need.  I hope that anyone else out there who is suffering from depression gets the help they need.  Just know it can take awhile.  I had to go through 5 or 6 different meds to find the right ones.  

Remember: Life always looks worse than it really is when you are depressed.