I just lost another friend to a violent crime. Patti was one year behind me in high school. Her sister Mary was one my best friends. After I graduated high school Patti and I would often hangout, go to movies, go on double dates but no matter what, one thing we always did was laugh our asses off.
Patty was killed by an ex-boyfriend. She had a restraining order against him. He killed her and then killed himself. Domestic violence is almost the worse way to go because the killer is someone you know and once loved.
I'm very fortunate to be in a relationship where domestic violence has never been an issue. We were just talking today about people who have restraining orders against them. Restraining orders are like gun laws. Gun laws are not a deterrent to criminals because they don't care about laws. That's why they are criminals. People who need restraining orders are not deterred from stalking because in order to have a restraining order against them one has to be unstable to begin with.
I didn't know this guy. I don't know the nature of their relationship. I do know that Patti was courageous enough to know when to end a harmful relationship. Patti did what some women (or men) find hard to do. She took responsibility and took charge of her life. Unfortunately that brave step cost Patti her life.
I hope what happened to Patti will cause women who are in a bad relationship to think about their lives and how they can make it better. Her outcome was not a desired result, obviously, but we still shouldn't stop striving to live the best possible life we can.
This is the second friend I have lost in the last 6 weeks due to a violent crime. I am not going to dwell on how they died or revenge. Those things are toxic to your mind and can only lead to more pain. I will learn from them and apply these situations to my own life. In each situation I can take away a valuable lesson or wonderful memories or even use their influence on me to make my life better.
One thing I hate about living so far away from where I grew up is the chance to stay closer to good friends I grew up with. I have to miss most good times and bad times. Luckily I have strong bonds with some of these friends and they think of me and keep me in the loop of all the things I miss out on. To those people I thank you.
Life is too short. Don't waste your time with negative people and don't put yourself in bad situations. It will only lead to your undoing.
I miss you Patti but I know I'll get to see you again.
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