Karma Kameleon

I've always been a fan of "what you put out to the universe, you get back."  Some people may call this karma, some may call it prayer.  No matter what you call it, the result is aways better for you and better for the world if it's positive energy. Put good thoughts out, good things will happen for you.  The reverse is also true.  Negativity breeds negativity.  

Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone just put out positive thoughts into the universe?  Rather than war and violence we could all have a peaceful coexistence. It takes so much energy to generate hate and negative thoughts.  If you could turn that around and put the same amount of energy into generating positive thoughts, your life would be incredibly rich and healthy. 

I wish I could bottle all the negative energy during any fire-fight in any war.  I bet it could power a major city.

I've learned much about myself over the last couple of years.  My depression was making me anxious and bitter.  Granted, I didn't know I was depressed but now that I do know, I can control it.  I was always getting mad at stupid things.  I was very passive aggressive.  I had no respect for me or anyone else.  I was making the same mistake over and over again but expecting a different result. 

Which leads me to my big pet peeve.  This could be one of the biggest generators of negativity today.

Passive Aggression

Passive–aggressive behavior is an umbrella term describing certain types of behavior in interpersonal interactions. It is characterized by an obstructionist or hostile manner that indicates aggression, or, in more general terms, expressing aggression in non-assertive, subtle (i.e. passive or indirect) ways. It can be seen in some cases as a personality trait or disorder marked by a pervasive pattern of negative attitudes and passive, usually disavowed, resistance in interpersonal or occupational situations.

Passive aggressive behavior can manifest itself as learned helplessness, procrastination, hostility masquerading as jokes, stubbornness, resentment, sullenness, or deliberate/repeated failure to accomplish requested tasks for which one is (often explicitly) responsible.

Passive Aggressive is a big issue for me.  I think that for the most part I have kicked that habit.  I notice though that where I live there seems to be much of it.  For some reason, different parts of the country are more passive aggressive than others.  I don't know why but ask anyone not from Seattle and they will tell you that Seattle is polite but not friendly.  The natives don't notice it at all because they are used to it.  If someone from the west coast could just live in the middle of Illinois for one week they would find out how NOT passive aggressive mid-westerners are.  It’s always refreshing to visit my family in Illinois.  It’s a different world.

One of the ways it manifests itself in my daily life is in the car.  Day in and day out there is a constant need for drivers to show their self-importance over everyone else.   Some drivers like to play “traffic cop” on the freeway.  You know the ones. It’s their job to keep you under the speed limit so they will camp out in the left lane.

Parking lots become Hunger Games arenas where people feel the need to drive around you as you are pulling out of a space or they will walk slowly up the middle of the lane in front of your car to make sure to show you that they are important.

Crosswalks are the new passive aggressive playing turfs.  It seems that people in crosswalks like to show their dominance by walking as slow as they can so you know, that they know, you have to wait.

What does all of this mean?  It’s plain and simple arrogance.

 What causes it?  Negativity and the need to show people that YOU are in control and you are NOT wrong.

There are passive aggressive people who will use this trait to manipulate other people such as co-workers, family, friends, anyone who that person thinks can help them get what they want.  It manifests in snide comments under your breath that you know that the other person can just barely hear.  It also manifests in making sure you get the last word in and it’s always hurtful.  My favorite is when you are stubborn and petulant to someone just so to make their life harder because you have no real reason to dislike them.  I call this the “girl who hates girls” syndrome. 

It usually, eventually comes back to bite you in the ass.  The problem is that all this passive aggressive behavior gets you nowhere.  Passive Aggression can alienate you from your family.  It can drive a wedge in relationships.  It makes you look like a dick. 

Remember, that person you cut off or tailgated is going to be the one person who pulls into the same place you were going.  Then confrontation ensues and guess what?  You’re always wrong.

Basically, if you are being passive aggressive, you are wrong.  Channel that aggression into something positive.  When you feel the need to be aggressive, that situation will never turn out the way you want.  You have to figure out a way to make the situation better, not make it worse.  If you have to be wrong, that own it!  If the other person is smug about it then they are the dick.

Don't hang out with passive aggressive people.  It's like having overweight friends.  Chances are if all your friends are overweight than you will be too. Why? Because you take on the bad habits of people you see on a daily basis if you're not careful.  Hang with negative people, you will become negative as well.

What’s the meaning of failure again?  It’s making the same mistake over and over again expecting a different result.