I want a new drug

I took some time off from blogging.  I have been having some ups and downs.  Mostly ups and downs in mood and motivation.

I few weeks ago I felt my meds slowly wearing off.  I would go in stages of really good highs and then crashing lows.  My doc prescribed more adderal.  It seems to be working.  I'm on a road trip right now and it's going great.

I have found though that I seem to get really really cranky around 4 or 5 pm.  Sometimes it's because I forgot to eat lunch or sometimes it's because I'm stressed.

I have been without work for 9 months now.  It's longest I have ever been unemployed.  I'm not worried about paying my bills or anything but I don't like not having any secure finances.  I have this immence feeling of not being in control and it's killing me.

I think there comes a time when even the best meds can be over powered by life's little challenges.  I know that I want to someday be off meds completley but until then I have to keep playing with dosing and keeping track of when they don't work and why they aren't working.

I'm eager to head back to Washington tomorrow.  I miss my dogs and I miss working out.  I took the last 7 days off and I'm feeling it.  I can't wait to get back to spin class!